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Emotional rollercoaster

It’s been a lot of up and down for me over the last few weeks.  I started down…very very down.  Prozac has helped that tremendously, but then came the EEG and the confirmation of Epilepsy.  Ironically, that provided for some brief  “up time” because at least I had a diagnosis, and at least it wasn’t something psychological that I was doing to myself (and believe me, I worried about that and the implications a lot).

So then came waiting on the MRI and waiting on the results, lots of down there.  Then the results – super up (not having a brain tumor definitely qualifies as up!!!).

Now I’m feeling pretty down again.  Not being able to drive is taking some getting used to.  I’ve been trying to find info about people with seizures like mine, and how they relate to driving in particular.  It doesn’t look good.  I’m still hopeful that I’ll be able to drive again, but I can’t help but contemplate what life is going to be like without being able to drive.  I keep telling myself “yeah but I haven’t had any gran-mal or absence seizures, surely I’m different”, and then the part of my brain that does not live in denial chimes in with comments like “that’s true, but how many times have you read that seizures change?”.

I feel very broken at this point.  Not in a psychological sense (’cause the Prozac is still doing it’s job), but in a litteral, physical sense.  I feel like I’m somehow deffective and need to be repaired, like I’ve got a part worn out.  That is not a good feeling at all.

I think this blog may get to be a little bit “diary like” for a while.  It’s somewhat theraputic/cathartic to just write down what’s going through my head.  Sorry for the down post.  I’ll try to be “up” next time.

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Figuring out Facebook

As my regular readers will have noticed (since I’ve been busy adding you as friends) I’ve been playing around with Facebook over the last few days.  This has answered the question “why hasn’t Jerome posted in so long?” for me – why?  Because he’s been posting on Facebook instead of his blog.  Sheesh…you try to keep up with peoples lives and they go and change the way the news is being distributed ;).

So why sign up with Facebook.  Mostly because I’ve come across Facebook profiles for people that I’ve known in my life who otherwise have no web presence, and I wanted to see what was going on with them.  I even found out my sister has a Facebook profile…who knew?

In other news, William has a(nother) new scar on his face.  That kid is really hard on himself.  He was twirling around, tripped on a pillow and slamed his cheek into the edge of the coffee table.  One trip to urgent care and $75 bucks later and his cheek is super-glued shut with some stuff they call “dermabond”.  I was told that the scar will be much smaller this way than it would have been with stitches.

We also got three new lambs this morning – two girls out of DuClair and a single girl out of Piper.  All in all a busy weekend!

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Now that I can login…

…it’s time for an update.

Christmas and New Year’s has come and gone, and things are getting back to normal around the ranch.  Several of the goats have been off at the breeder, and they are now home, along with a new addition to the goat herd named Bridget.  She’s due to kid around the end of the month, so baby season will be starting early this year.

Speaking of babies, Julianna (who we have taken to calling “Ju-Ju”) is almost seven months, and can crawl really really fast now.  She’s been taking pillaging lessons from her big brother William.  She’s been a dillegent student, and is now into everything she can get her little hands on.

Elizabeth is learning to read, and I think Teresa is trying to keep up with her, so she may end up learning to read early :)

Dominic has grown taller than his mother (sigh…he’s growing up).  He’s still got a way to go before he gets taller than me, but the day will probably come.

I managed to sprain my back falling down some icy stairs.  I have my fifth trip to the chiropractor today.  The good news is that I haven’t had any back spasms in almost 48 hours now…and they’ve been a constant for over two weeks.

So that’s the short version of recent history.  I’ll try to post a little more often now that I can again!

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I must be losing my geeky mojo

These days, I earn my living writting software.  I use the C# programming language (which is nice, but has its shortcomings – that’s another post all on its own some day).  I can humbly say I know a LOT about the Windows operating system in its various incarnations.  And I’m a pretty fair hand when it comes to hardware configuration, maintenance, troubleshooting, and repair.

But I must be losing my geeky mojo.  It used to be I would search out and discover things for the simple joy of knowing about it.  I surprised myself today by finding a new tool (that I’m sure some of you…cough…Mike…cough) are probably already aware of and have been using for some time.

As a developer, I watch task manager a lot to see what is pegging my system or eating up my RAM.  If I notice my system behaving oddly or slowly, it’s almost always the first thing I check.  Usually there’s a run away process (yeah, I’m looking at you DLOClient.exe!) and I kill it and get on with life.  So if you’re like me, and you look at the process list with any frequency, I’m sure you’ve noticed a process (usually several) called svchost.exe.

Svchost.exe is used to run a bunch of different things as windows services.  Usually svchost.exe behaves itself pretty well, but sometimes one or more of the svchost processes will use an extraordinary amount of RAM.  Today was one of those times for me, and I finally got exasperated enough to find a tool that would tell me what svchost.exe was really running.

Which brings us to the tool I mentioned earlier.  It’s called ProcessExplorer.  I don’t know why the heck Microsoft doesn’t just ship this thing with Windows in the first place.  It told me everything I needed to know.  I should have searched it out ages ago.  Sigh.  I’m losing my mojo.

Anyhow, if you’re constantly checking your system processes, I highly recommend it.

Comments (1) »

After two weeks, still no kitchen

I’ve been quiet here on the ol’ blog for a couple of weeks.  Mostly because I’ve been very busy.  Not the good kind of busy either.  The bad kind of busy, that involves a lot of work and a lot of money.  We’ve spent the last two weeks and several hundred dollars fixing our kitchen, and will probably spend the next two (or more) weeks and more than another thousand dollars finishing what we’ve started.

It all started with a little soft spot in the floor.  We didn’t think much of it – probably a little dry rot.  Then the spot got bigger (fairly quickly).  I crawled under the house, and really didn’t see anything alarming.  My mom was coming to visit, so we decided not to do anything until after she left.  Once mom was gone, we decided to pull up the vinyl flooring in the kitchen and take a better look at what was going on.

Words can not well describe what we found.  I have pictures, that will be uploaded later – a photo essay of the rebuilding of our kitchen.  Anyhow, underneath the vinyl is a layer of sheathing – about a 1/4 inch thick sheet of very smooth plywood.  It was damp, and moldy.  Very damp and very moldy.  We decided to pull up some of the sheathing.  Underneath the sheathing was a layer of vinyl tile – it’s not unusual to have multiple layers of floors – more mold on the vinyl tiles, so we pulled up some of those.  Underneath the vinyl tiles was a layer of particle board, and it is this layer that has spelled doom for our kitchen.

Now, maybe you’ve never seen what happens to particle board when it gets wet.  It goes through a process.  First it soaks up water like a sponge and expands.  Then it will spread the water around.  Then it will disentegrate.

So, we pulled up – or rather scraped up – some of this rotted, disentegrating, moldy particle board, and finally found the original sub-floor, which is a layer of plywood.  Plywood makes a good subfloor – it’s generally water resistant and very sturdy.  However, when you have a sponge, er…water soaked particle board, laying on it for who knows how long, it does eventually break down.  Hence the soft spot in the floor.  The plywood was wet and moldy and rotten (none of which was visible from underneath).

We did some more investigating.  Turns out our cabinets had some significant damage to them too.  Behind the oak facing, guess what they’re made out of?  Ding ding ding! That’s right – particle board!  The cabinetry had a contact-paper-like lining all over the inside of it.  We pealed this off and suddenly we could see all this water damage to the cabinets.

More investigation lead us to conclude that our dishwasher had been leaking.  The water was leaking underneath the topmost layer of vinyl flooring – we NEVER saw any water on the floor.

So we called the insurance company, ’cause this was not going to be a case of “pull up the vinyl and replace a few square feet of sub-floor that’s dry-rotted” afterall.

Though the insurance did not pay for the floor, it fortunately did pay for the cabinets.  Cabinets are expensive.  Really expensive.  And the labor to replace cabinets is really expensive.  So, by doing it ourselves we will have enough to replace the cabinets and the floor.

By the time it was all said and done, we removed the entire kitchen floor, about half of the dining room floor, and nine of the floor joists under the floor.  Imagine an 8 foot by 15 foot hole where the kitchen used to be.  We also replaced half of the wall that was behind the sink/dishwasher.  Not the left half or the right half of the wall.  The bottom half.

After two weeks of ripping out and replacing, we now have a structurally sound kitchen and dining room floor again.  Still remaining is the replacing and rebuilding of cabinets, and the finishing of the flooring since right now it is just bare sub-floor.

Tearing all of the damage out was depressing, since it just kept going and going and going…  The next two weeks will be better I think, since what we’re doing now is more like re-modeling, and our kitchen will look nice and new when we’re done.

Photos soon!

Comments (1) »

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