So, how cold is it to you?

+70 F (+21 C) Alaskans declare record heatwave.

+60 F (+15 C) Californians rise from hibernation and put on sweaters (if they can find one in their wardrobe!).

+50 F (+10 C) Canadians sweat. Miami residents turn on the heat. A nice day for a Wisconsin summer picnic.

+40 F (+5 C) You can see your breath. Siberians melt. Californians shiver uncontrollably. Minnesotans go swimming.

+35 F (+2 C) Italian cars don’t start.

+32 F (0 C) Water freezes solid.

+30 F (-1 C) You plan your vacation to Houston. Minnesotans put on t-shirts. Politicians begin to worry about the homeless. English cars don’t start.

+25 F (-4 C) Boston water freezes. Californians weep pitiably. Minnesotans eat ice cream. Canadians go swimming.

+20 F (-7 C) You can hear your breath. Politicians begin to talk about the homeless. New York City water freezes. Miami residents plan vacations further south.

+15 F (-10 C) French cars don’t start. You plan a vacation in Mexico. Your cat insists on sleeping in bed with you.

+10 F (-12 C) Too cold to ski. You need jumper cables to get the car going.

+5 F (-15 C) You plan your vacation to Australia. American cars don’t start.

+0 F (-18 C) Alaskans put on t-shirts. Too cold to skate.

-10 F (-23 C). German cars don’t start. Eyes freeze shut when you blink.

-15 F (-26 C) You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo. Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects. Miami residents cease to exist.

-20 F (-30 C) Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you. Politicians actually do something about the homeless. Minnesotans shovel snow off roof. Japanese cars don’t start.

-25 F (-32 C) Too cold to think. You need jumper cables to get the driver going. Green Bay Packer fans start wearing shirts.

-30 F (-34 C) You plan a two-week hot bath. The mighty Monongahela freezes. Swedish cars don’t start.

-40 F (-40 C) Californians disappear. Minnesotans button top button. Canadians put on sweaters. Your car helps you plan your trip south.

-50 F (-46 C) Congressional hot air freezes. Alaskans close the bathroom window.

-80 F (-62 C) Hell freezes over. Polar bears move south.

-90 F (-68 C) Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets.

moar funny pictures

That being said, the French word for “goat” is “chevre”, and the French word for milk is “lait” (pronounced “lay”).  So, when Dominic asked for lait du chevre, suddenly it clicked with me…if “lait du chevre” is “milk of goat”, then chevre lait would be “goat for milking” or “milk goat”.  Probably some Frenchman named Pierre Chevrelait (aka, Peter Milk Goat) immigrated to the US a long time ago and got his name mangled into Chevrolet.

All that is a bunch of BS I just made up, but phonetically, it’s fun to think that I own a 1991 Milk Goat Suburban.  :)  I may start calling it “The Goat” heh heh.

Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there with us and I asked Catherine, “If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?”

Catherine replied, “I would give houses to all the homeless people. ”

“Wow – what a worthy goal you have there Catherine. ” I told her (while both parents beamed), “but, you don’t have to wait until you’re President to do that. You can come over to my house and clean up all the dog poop in the back yard and I will pay you $5 dollars. Then we can go over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out and you can give him the $5 dollars to use for a new house.”

Catherine (who was about 4) thought that over for a second and then replied, “Why doesn’t the homeless guy come over and clean up the dog poop himself and you can pay him the $5 dollar.”

Welcome to the Republican Party, Catherine….

There are a couple of people that I work with that have been practical jokers. Recently they both went on vacation at the same time (coincidence). Here’s the payback:

Dominic used to really hate that store too.  We used to tell him we were going to his favorite store, and he’d just groan and writhe around in pain.  And he’d mope the whole time we were in the store.  Now that he’s a little older, he really likes it.  He looks around and sees possibilities.  Maybe Elizabeth will learn to see the store in a new light as she gets older too.

It seems our kids have said several humorous things lately.  We bought bunk beds for our girls with our “economic stimulus” check.  Teresa refers to them as “punk beds”, which when you think about it is really a far more accurate description.

Not to be out-done, William (who is almost two) has picked up a new little habit.  Any time somebody…uh…passes gas…breaks wind…er, well, anytime somebody farts (or even makes a fart-like sound), he’ll say “Eeeeeeeewwww!  Pew, pew, pew, pew!” while fanning the air in front of his nose.  This is one of those things that’s really cute AT HOME, but is not so funny in public.  So far, he hasn’t been too obvious about it publicly, but I’m sure the day is coming.

Dominic has published a website of his own now.  I have to say that I’m rather proud of him.  He’s learned a lot about HTML, JavaScript, and PHP.  Not bad at all for a 14 year old.  That being said, I encourage you to visit his site.  Just be careful what you click on, because he has these little things called “Insanity Challenges” and other little JavaScript based things.  Lets just say that the average 14 year old learning JavaScript will find them clever and amusing, and leave it at that.  You’ve been warned ;)

see more crazy cat pics

moar funny pictures

Anyhow, if you’re interested, the address is:

http://kentowonderings.blogspot.com/

It’s also over on the right under “Stuff to read” now.