Beau Jackson

There’s been a lot of talk of the cold hitting the nation over the last day or two.  It was about 5 degrees outside this morning when I was feeding/watering the livestock and the wind chill put it well below zero.  It was also a common subject of discussion around work this morning.  In light of that, I thought I’d post a little perspective on the cold – it’s an oldie but a goodie.

So, how cold is it to you?

+70 F (+21 C) Alaskans declare record heatwave.

+60 F (+15 C) Californians rise from hibernation and put on sweaters (if they can find one in their wardrobe!).

+50 F (+10 C) Canadians sweat. Miami residents turn on the heat. A nice day for a Wisconsin summer picnic.

+40 F (+5 C) You can see your breath. Siberians melt. Californians shiver uncontrollably. Minnesotans go swimming.

+35 F (+2 C) Italian cars don’t start.

+32 F (0 C) Water freezes solid.

+30 F (-1 C) You plan your vacation to Houston. Minnesotans put on t-shirts. Politicians begin to worry about the homeless. English cars don’t start.

+25 F (-4 C) Boston water freezes. Californians weep pitiably. Minnesotans eat ice cream. Canadians go swimming.

+20 F (-7 C) You can hear your breath. Politicians begin to talk about the homeless. New York City water freezes. Miami residents plan vacations further south.

+15 F (-10 C) French cars don’t start. You plan a vacation in Mexico. Your cat insists on sleeping in bed with you.

+10 F (-12 C) Too cold to ski. You need jumper cables to get the car going.

+5 F (-15 C) You plan your vacation to Australia. American cars don’t start.

+0 F (-18 C) Alaskans put on t-shirts. Too cold to skate.

-10 F (-23 C). German cars don’t start. Eyes freeze shut when you blink.

-15 F (-26 C) You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo. Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects. Miami residents cease to exist.

-20 F (-30 C) Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you. Politicians actually do something about the homeless. Minnesotans shovel snow off roof. Japanese cars don’t start.

-25 F (-32 C) Too cold to think. You need jumper cables to get the driver going. Green Bay Packer fans start wearing shirts.

-30 F (-34 C) You plan a two-week hot bath. The mighty Monongahela freezes. Swedish cars don’t start.

-40 F (-40 C) Californians disappear. Minnesotans button top button. Canadians put on sweaters. Your car helps you plan your trip south.

-50 F (-46 C) Congressional hot air freezes. Alaskans close the bathroom window.

-80 F (-62 C) Hell freezes over. Polar bears move south.

-90 F (-68 C) Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets.